A peacock is a bird.



A peacock is a bird a...


Terrifically tingling Tyrannosaurus Tyrannosaurid theropods

Trampled tiny therapsids

Terrestrial

Toothy triassic

Thongs.

Thus

Tito's totem tutu

Theatrically themed

Teetering

Tumbling

Triumphantly trashed

Tornado torn towns

Television table talk

Tonight's topic today

Tomorrow's Ted Talk

Then

tea

A peacock is all about distraction and allure.


Early In 2020 or late 2019 I imagined doing some Gorilla art. Sculptured and fired ceramic upper torsos, portraits of the diaspora half buried rising from the earth as monuments easily stolen. Publicly displayed, photographed, posted free to download.


But Covid 19


So I stayed in doors and produced the activist 2020 series.


Pelosi and the Pussycats early 2020 acrylic on panel, canvas,string.

Josie and the pussycats video

Dr. Gulliver travels early 2020 acrylic on on panel. Cotton, string, needles



It's 2020. A lot of distraction and allure.


I've pretty much laid the basics of this website.

I'm confident about the work but as always I feel I have nothing to show. And even without having a show I prepare for the next show.


I'm leaning toward the sculpture right now as part of my gorilla art.


But there's a earlier concept I had and produced as a site specific public work that would be unique.


My Solar Graphics, not potentially, it is...the most community oriented Art project I've ever conceived.


"Which couldn't have been easier in as I've never done anything community oriented",..


.... I text as memory restoration bringing back my cooperative projects with other Washington Artist and organizations. The many projects I handled the installations of and community Arts in education where I worked in local neighborhoods collaborating in Arts projects.


So I think I can get there.


Onto the❤️


I wrote a story about myself glamorized and black powerish.


Just imagine someone aspiring to be like someone famous someone Great like a Martin Luther King or Marcus Telling. A hero out of history.

But you're not that person, you wrote a story full of cliché .


This feels better, and here's why, it feels natural. As opposed to trying to convey information as some formalistic story.

Remembering all the names, and why Jerome likes Sheral and who have, or haven't had sex.

It's also so very pointless.


I make the painting the painting is a statement.

It's body is emotion.

It's image is a scene.


It is not decoration.


"I know it's not pointless", don't be angry with me.


There are two images that I remember from my childhood. One Was a drawing of my siblings at the stairs of our families home in Washington DC



The other a color image of babies dancing in the street.

I framed and sold the baby drawing and that's how I became a professional Artist.


One image a reality another expressionism.


I wish I could just paint people.


🎶Before the capitalism I was a typical painter of the intimacy of family life, beautiful children and stately elder church going, respectable folk.


But evils of cash warped me from all pretence of honest romanticized images of handsome young flowering beauty engaged in intimacy.


No I could not be bought low to paint such, instead I choose the easiest path, guaranteed to bring instant fame and unlimited boundless wealth, ..right?🎶


That's why I paint pain.


I painted conflict, death.


A Peacock is a Display that proves I'm strong enough for us to congregate and make something better of ourselves.


Better is debatable but the display should nonetheless be spectacular.


We could make a series of images to tell the story but that risk transforming the incident from a statement into an argument or sermon.


Who doesn't like a well argued sermon?


Anyway


So I

Became a peacock


I'm innocent

In the way a child is when I was.

When my father took me to the church

If I had known

Just a little bit

If Only I'd heard on the news

About the priest

Or the scout masters

But innocence is ignorance.

And you can't be innocent if you're knowledgeable yet participate in immorality.

So the Church provided a place and a privilege.

To steal that innocence

And it was all wrapped in the American

Flag.


Meanwhile I learned to polish my particular peacock skills.


Mmm. It's like being a favorite child or a pet, A teacher's pet.


Polishing A particular fetish of Uniform perfection.


And polishing that Uniform with bling in the form of awards of accomplishments.

A freakishly off relationship with merit badges, ties and Boy Scout hats.


Not entirely unlike pimping out little girls in beauty contest.


Only it's boys being pimped out in machismo camps out in the woods or in the holy cells of the parish.


But where's the suspense?




There's this eye thing about artist with schizophrenia.


Your eye apparently is brain stuff. Such as to say, "your eyes are a window to your soul or at least to the mental health of your brain.


Experiencing visual distortions involving form, motion, or color is evidence linking some psychosis to detectable changes in the eyes. A perception clue to detect schizophrenia


Being abused by an authority figure a guardian. Experiencing traumatic events subjects you to psychosis also


Picture an image of contrasting colors and high radiance then imagine dailing up the contrast the color temperature. And the whole thing vibrates like an earthquake on the wall.


The eyes creep ...appearing in unexpected places. Their inclusions in art can be disruptive and therefore must be mitigated.


But what do the eyes represent?

People, the social, the constructs representative of others in the mind.




Science on the subject currently says.


(Abnormalities in the way the brain processes visual information contribute to the difficulties people with schizophrenia have with social interactions and in recognizing what is real. That makes it harder for them to track moving objects, perceive depth, draw contrast between light and dark or different colors, organize visual elements into shapes, and recognize facial expressions, according to previous research.)BY CARL BLESCH-RUTGERS

https://www.futurity.org/retinaretina-://www.futurity.org/retina-schizophrenia-999892/

In other words, How not being able to see makes me worse at understanding the subjects of my art, terrible at perceiving realities, confused as to how I'm perceived and maniacal in the assurance of my greatness and superiority as an artist.


It's funny in your thinking something is true. But your not a great lover it's all in your mind, a fantasy.


But you've got to run with that fantastic fake cus it's all you've got, a persistent fantasy counts as your reality.


However psychosis is arrived at it's effective imprint on the perception of reality is indelible and perhaps as opposed to entirely capitalistic intent

the resulting arts lay out a visual model of non conforming perceptions.


Which to be blunt,

Helps to explain why we seek to punish male child molesters, while simultaneously promoting rapist to the Supreme Court.


We see the rapist as somehow manly boys doing what boy do to girls and men do to boys and bees do bears in the woods to the girls, "Who really wants it", in the dorm.


Alfa males, gangbanging humans, savage apes suffering from abuse induced psychosis believing the craziest things. Like believing at the last moments before death you will see the light and after a life of insanity if you just lie to yourself to believe your lie that you will believe the lie knowing it's a lie expecting the Universe to go along with the lie. Then not discovering the deception all along because your dead now, "should have gotten the damn vaccine".


What's insane,...is being aware of your need to serf the waves of a psychotic incident. Knowing that it will end.


And that awareness reveals that while I am aware of my own illness. Around me a significant portion of our society unawares has lost some basic tether to a common reality, that all successful societies have. A prohibition against suicidal frenzy.


AFTER school. Video on YouTube MassPsychosis


https://youtu.be/09maaUaRT4M


I'm beginning to believe that the schizophrenic psychosis may be an adaptive human mental state existing in a spectrum allowing radical socially adaptive change for large number of members of a society allowing them to act as a single unit. Such as soldiers or political parties.Or police. Or Qanon.

I'm independent of course.

I was groomed to be a presentation of an image of a Upstanding citizen, representative of the community.

An Eagle Scout<